Ah, kids. They are your whole heart, your pride and joy, and the reason you lose it and keep it together. But the other reality is that for parents, they can sometimes be the ‘romance killer’ and the ultimate contraceptive.
In hindsight you might think this is only a phase for new parents, but this dilemma is for parents old and new.
Intimacy doesn’t always have to be penetrative sex, but the title of the guide mentions how you can still do it, and that’s what we will be exploring in this blog.
So, to parents reading this, take notes, err to the side of caution, and get your sex life back.
Find some time alone
Nine out of ten blogs with a similar theme will tell you this. Honestly, they’re not wrong.
There are so many ways to find some time alone such as getting a babysitter (but probably not if you have thin walls because… #awkward) and arranging your schedules so you both have free time while kids are in childcare or school. It can also be as simple as getting kids to sleep in their own bedroom.
Another way to achieve this is to leave them with their grandparents for the weekend, leaving you with more time to hopefully enjoy each other. If weekends don’t work, you can arrange different dates with your parents or your partner’s parents. Grandparents will have time with the grandkids, your kids will have time with their grandparents, and you will have time for sex. Everybody wins here!
Ditch clothing that are difficult to remove and slip into ‘easy access’ ones
Think like a fireman here. You don’t know when the fire will come, but you need to be quick.
Unlike firemen though, you wouldn’t want to extinguish the fire too quickly. Imagine this: you’ve got the momentum going but the buttons took forever to get unbuttoned. The next thing you know, the little one is awake and knocking on your door. You didn’t even have a chance to tease your partner and you were able to convince your kid to fall back into sleep, one of you is no longer in the mood.
So slip into easy access clothes and get ready for some action… anytime.
Schedule your sexy time
This might be the most unromantic tip but as they say, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Decide with your partner how often and when you want to do it. It may also help that you both know what needs to be done before your sexy time to avoid distractions thinking of stuff that involves anything about the household.
At least, after a day of looking after the kids and their needs, you know you’d get a chance to have your needs get looked after, too.
Do the deed with the little one in the room
Now this one is not for the faint of heart and should be done within your realm of reason.
One almost fool-proof trick is to get them to sleep before you do it. For good measure, place a stack of pillows between you and the little one, making sure that in case they wake up, you won’t be caught off guard. Think of the pillows as a thin layer of protection between your sex life and your parent life. If you and your partner are the lights on kind of couple, this might not be for you.
Speaking of thin layers of protection, Sokkie condoms are natural latex, vegan-friendly condoms shipped in discreet packaging so you don’t have to worry about them being discovered by your little ones (or nosy neighbours!) at your doorstep.
Author: Ali de la Cruz
Ali has yet to meet anyone whose music playlist is as all over the place as hers. She likes to pretend she writes her blogs like Carrie Bradshaw.
Photo: bixpicture from Getty Images