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Lube and Sex – What You Need to Know

Lube and Sex – What You Need to Know

So you’ve used lube occasionally, or never really thought too much about lube as you and your partner/s never had issues getting wet. Well, I’m about to open you up to a whole new world of lubes and how lube can help maximise your pleasure.

But first, let’s start with the basics - the different types of lubes available in the market. 

1.  Water-based lube

Water based lubes are probably the ones you see most common in stores. They feel light, aren’t sticky, and easy to wash off (who really likes cleaning up after sex?).

They’re also safe to use with condoms, both latex and non-latex, as well as toys. If you use condoms and/or toys, and want to play it safe, water-based lube is the way to go.

If you’re planning a long session though, you may need to re-apply regularly as they do get absorbed into the body.

2. Silicone-based lube

Silicone based lubes tend to be thicker in consistency, and as such, lasts longer, making them great for anal sex or even a steamy sesh in the shower as they don’t wash off as easily with water.

They’re hypoallergenic which is great for those that tend to have allergic reactions. They are also safe with condoms.

However, silicone based lubes aren’t great with silicone toys, which most toys happen to be made off. The silicone in the lube can break down the surface of the silicone toys, so just be careful there. They also do stain sheets and clothing so you might want to put a towel down just in case.

3. Oil-based lube

Oil based lubes are great for those that love incorporating massages into their sexy time. They double up as a massage oil and lubricant, and they usually smell great! They do last a really long time.

The downsides though, is like silicone based lubes, they will stain your sheets and clothing, and if you’re using a latex condom, oil-based lubes are a big no-no as they will break down the latex and you definitely don’t want that to happen.

What to avoid in lubes

Given we’re all for natural and non-toxic products, you’ll want to avoid lubes that have the following ingredients:

  • Glycerine
  • Nonoxynol-9
  • Propylene glycol
  • Parabens
  • Petroleum
  • Benzocaine and lidocaine

Some of these ingredients exist in condoms (not Sokkies!), and if you want to find out more about them, we’ve covered them in a previous post: The Nasty and Not-So-Sexy Chemicals in Condoms.

Let the fun begin!

Now that we got the types and technicalities out of the way, let’s talk about the fun stuff – incorporating lube into your sex life and using it to enhance your pleasure!

So, when and where should you apply lube? Everywhere. Apply it everywhere!


The obvious one – during intercourse. If it’s a between a penis and a vagina getting ready for penetration, you can choose to apply it on the penis or vagina, but I’d suggest applying it on the penis instead of the vagina. Doing it this way evenly distributes the lube as the penis is inserted into the vagina.

Using a toy

If you’re using a toy whether with a partner or by yourself, go ahead and squirt (pun intended!) some lube on the toy. It’ll glide ever so smoothly on all your sensitive areas. Even the thought of that sends shivers down my spine. Just be sure to use a water-based lube instead of a silicone based one so it doesn’t deteriorate the silicone on the toy.

Sensual massage

Nothing gets things going quicker than a sensual massage during foreplay and a bit of lube goes a long way. There are some lubes that having a warming sensation which can really heat things up especially on a cold winter’s evening.

Hand jobs and fingering

Dry hands rubbing against a penis isn’t the best feeling in the world, and likewise for dry fingers and a vagina. Applying lube on the hands and penis, and conversely on the finger and vagina, will really help things. In fact, with less friction, it opens up doors to try different stroking and fingering techniques.

Inside the condom

Now here’s a little trick not many people know. Adding a drop or two of lube in the condom actually amps up his sensitivity, which is especially useful given men tend to complain that condoms make them feel less sensitive. Just be sure they’re water or silicone-based lubes and not oil so it doesn’t compromise the condom.

Anything anal

The anus doesn’t produce any natural lubricant so it goes without saying that you’ll definitely want to lube up for any anal penetration. That said, there’s nothing stopping you from using lube even for any sort of anal play in general. And you can never have enough lube when it comes to anal play in general so lube away!

Author: Alison Tran
Alison enjoys a good night out. She writes for Sokkie when she's bored and wants to let off some steam. Loves sex on the beach (the cocktail, and literally!)

Photo: Ian Dooley on Unsplash