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Sex and the Shared House: A Guide to Having Sex When You Have Roommates

Sex and the Shared House: A Guide to Having Sex When You Have Roommates

Rents in major Australian cities keep rising, so it’s no surprise that a lot of people end up renting and living with housemates. Shared accommodation has its ups and downs. It’s a great way to extend your social circle and meet like-minded individuals, especially if you are away from home. However, the lower housing expense also comes with what some might consider a hefty price: less privacy.

Whether you are sexually active or not, bringing a plus one home might be uncomfortable every now and then. In this guide, we share some tips and interviewed some folks, on how to balance your sex life with housemates. And no, it doesn’t involve having sex with your housemate, because that opens up a whole new can of worms all together.

Schedule when you bring someone home 

Sometimes, Netflix-and-chill invites go way beyond what was planned (don’t they all?), so why not schedule it when the housemates are not around?

Find a day or time when your housemates are away, and make that your date night, especially if it’s the first time you’re bringing that person home. It helps to create a home-like feel for the both of you without uncomfortable (or way too comfortable) stares from others.

Even if it doesn’t lead to sex, having a moment alone is a great way to get to know them and to let them know they can be comfortable where you live. They will also be more comfortable at your place the second time around, even if your housemates are around.

Refrain from doing it on the living room couch

As things get steamy from your Netflix-and-chill evening, you might want to refrain from doing it on the shared living room couch, out of respect to your housemates, especially if there are clean freaks or germaphobes.

Put it this way, you wouldn’t want to be sitting on somebody else’s and/or their partner’s specimen, would you?

Doing it in shared spaces could also lead to a ton of awkwardness should someone walks in whilst you’re doing the act.

We’re pretty sure there are other places to do it, which leads us to the next tip...

Just get a room

Kelly*, a 27-year-old Beauty Advisor/Merchandise Stylist we interviewed in Bondi Junction who lives with housemates for as long as she can remember, shared some wise words.

“When you are about to have sex in a shared house, there’s at least three people you need to respect: yourself, your housemate, and the person you’re taking home. Put yourself in everyone’s shoes and make it a pleasant experience for everyone. Respect yourself and everyone around you by just getting a room. Make introductions when necessary or simply read the room because your housemates might not warrant it anyway.”

She adds that it helps to know what your housemates’ personalities are like, so you can gauge what the interaction should be like or if it’s even necessary.

Keep it down

No, we’re not talking about going down here, but we do highly recommend it ;) 

We’re talking about noise, and the loud moans. If you know that someone is trying to concentrate or working in the room next door, it pays to be considerate and tone down on the wild sex.

Unless of course you live in a sound-proof room, then go to your heart’s content! (Don’t forget your Sokkie, too!)

Find housemates who let you do you (or do others)

Housemates who are fine with whatever you are up to are hard to find and you’re lucky if you found yours.

For Jim*, who has lived with at least four different sets of people since he moved from Brisbane to Sydney, finding housemates who aren’t nosy at what he does (or who he does) worked best for him. In this instance, they’re usually the quiet ones. “I work in a rather conservative industry, so the last thing I need is a housemate who’s into my business and rumours spread on my escapades outside of work,” he said.


It all comes down to respect, and what kind of relationship you want to have with your housemates. If you do decide one day that your privacy is a priority over saving money or have access to both, perhaps it is time to rent your own place.

* Names have been changed for privacy reasons

Author: Ali de la Cruz
Ali has yet to meet anyone whose music playlist is as all over the place as hers. She likes to pretend she writes her blogs like Carrie Bradshaw.