Are you the type of person who slowly savours their favourite dish? Imagine yourself leaving out that best morsel of chicken roast for the last bite. Yummy.
Today, we explore another aspect of “outercourse" or sex that doesn’t involve penetration.
This guide won’t get your hands full. We promise to take you by the hand as we take a peek at the world of prolonged pleasure.
Delaying And Prolonging Gratification
You have probably heard of the term “edging” thrown around here and there. Edging, also known as peaking or surfing, is a sexual stimulation practice in which orgasm is controlled.
Think of it as eating your favourite dessert. You want to prolong the experience, the pleasure by taking it slow and savouring every bite.
While edging is commonly associated with sexual fun, it was originally utilised to prevent or treat individuals with premature ejaculation. Studies have also pointed the roots of the practice to Ayurveda, and the Shiva Linga and Yoni symbolic representation in Hinduism.
Enough with the scholarly talk, let’s focus on the task at hand ;)
Prolonged stimulation is just one of the goals of edging, arousal without ejaculation must also be maintained for extended periods.
Of course, this activity can be done alone or with a partner.
Getting Prepared
Just like other activities, chance favours the prepared. These accoutrements can be found in your regular sex kit.
Let us start with the staple, lubricant. Whether water or oil-based, you will need lots of it since we are eyeing a longer than usual session. Others use lotion or aloe gel, but I do not recommend them as these products could cause chafing and discomfort when they dry up. You may also use virgin coconut oil for that tropical, all-natural feel.
I prefer a good water-based lubricant as things might get steamy which might lead to penetration. We highly recommend stocking up on your trusted Sokkie condoms for unexpected, delightful turns such as this. Sokkie premium latex condoms are a must have in every arsenal to keep those nasties at bay.
Edging is for everyone. One good addition to your arsenal is a vibrator. A basic one will do. This pleasure buddy helps add stimulation for both male and female tender parts. It also opens the door up for many options to try during the deed.
Last but not least, a seat or bed where the receiver can lay comfortably. It is also ideal to have your bedside table nearby where all your accessories and a bottle of drinking water are on standby.
The keyword here is comfort. While we want to arouse, we also want to provide a comfortable environment for our partner and/or ourselves.
Stroke, Rest, Repeat
Edging is a marathon, not a race.
Therefore, learn to pace. However, unlike the sport, a variety of techniques to maintain arousal can be used. If you’re edging a familiar partner, this would be easier as you (presumably) know their likes and dislikes in bed.
If you are treading into the unfamiliar waters of edging, I recommend you follow the basics - Stroke, Rest, Repeat.
Begin the session by arousing yourself or your partner like kissing, caressing, role play, etc. Just note to begin slowly as we will gradually increase the pleasure input when we are in the edging process proper.
When your bodies are warmed up, you may now transition to stroking the genitals. Squirt a copious amount of lube for those dealing with male parts. While lady parts can naturally lubricate, it doesn’t hurt to give yourself a head start.
Read the signs of climax.
Once you feel the body tensing, you can ease the speed of strokes. Pause and pleasure other parts of the body such as the nipples and bum (be sure to read our Quick Guide To Anal Sex if you do plan to take things up that way). Giving your body a rest resets your libido while keeping you aroused through stimulation of other areas.
Once you feel the rollercoaster restart, begin another ride.
Explore Likes and Dislikes
Similar to sex positions, each person has their preference when it comes to edging techniques. If you are the one on the giving end, you might want to take note of the verbal and non-verbal cues of your partner.
Communicate with your partner which stroke direction or body position gives them more pleasure. You can also observe their body language. Actions speak louder than words, am I right?
Too much of the same thing can be boring. We want to stimulate, yes, but trying other approaches can also lead to new things to add to your repertoire. Maybe try using your non-dominant hand or switching the edging position to doggy style.
I also highly recommend exploring combinations. It can be a combination of stroking with a blowjob, cunnilingus, or rimming. Why not try using your trusty vibrator on the tender parts while sucking on the nipples?
The world is your oyster, and the genitals are your pearl.
Reaching the Climax
Knowing the timing to climax can be challenging. But hey, practice makes perfect right? And you’ll love these practice sessions. It also gives you a chance to explore and revisit those crowd pleasers.
If you’re male, or if your partner is, there might be times when you reach the peak without ejaculation. This is called a dry orgasm. It is perfectly normal and nothing to be worried about.
A note of caution: frequently delaying orgasms also has its cons such as delayed ejaculation and epididymal hypertension, also known as blue balls. However, these cases are rare. If you are concerned about these risks, it would be best to talk to your sexual health physician / GP.
To conclude, edging isn’t something new-age. Think of it as a way of giving pleasure and releasing sexual energy without penetration.
One thing is for sure - you will enjoy it :)
Author: KB Resco
KB loves long walks on the beach, fried chicken and a bottle of ice-cold golden lager. You can easily spot him from a crowd by his shirt buttoned halfway. A real tropical guy.
Photo: Scott Sanker on Unsplash
