If I asked you if you incorporate foreplay in your sex life, what would your answer be? If it’s yes, then keep doing it—it’s a powerful way of spicing things up in your love life!

For those who may not be engaging in foreplay regularly, you might change your mind after reading this, especially when you learn how easy it is to incorporate foreplay into your sex life and the important benefits it brings!

What is foreplay?

First of all, what is foreplay? By definition, foreplay is the sexual and playful acts and behaviours before intercourse. This can include a broad range of things such as kissing, sucking, licking and nibbling different parts of the body, and touching each other’s erogenous zones. Whatever it is that tickles your fancy, really. The main goal here is to fan the flames and increase arousal.

Why is it important? 

Generally speaking, women take a longer time compared to men to get to the level of arousal needed to orgasm. Spending the time to engage in foreplay is important for many women as the act helps to prepare them physically and emotionally for sex.

For quite a number of women, foreplay can even be the best part of sex as many of them don’t orgasm from penetration alone. Spending the time to kiss, hug, caress and arouse a woman sufficiently will help create sufficient lubrication in the vagina, which is key in making intercourse comfortable. Penetration where there isn’t enough lubrication in the vagina increases friction and can make sex painful.   

Not only that, but when penetration occurs before there is adequate arousal and stimulation, this results in ‘premature intercourse’ which is why many women fail to climax during sex. This is because in order for a woman to orgasm their clitoris must get erect, and for this to happen stimulation is required. If you want to improve your chances of orgasm and bring even greater pleasure during intercourse, then foreplay is definitely the way to go. 

Whether you’re a man or woman, foreplay can be used to drive your partner wild and crazy with lust and desire—and who wouldn’t like to have the power to do that? 

What if your partner isn’t interested in foreplay?

Okay, so your other half isn’t gung-ho about foreplay? Maybe they’re a lazy or selfish lover; or perhaps it might be because they don’t have enough confidence in their skills or they are lacking information on why foreplay’s important and how to do it.

Of course, speaking about your sexual preferences is never easy; you might be worried about hurting or offending your partner. If you find yourself in this boat, here are some tips you can follow to make talking about what you want in bed a little easier.

• Use positive reinforcement.
  Let your partner know what it is they currently do that feels pleasurable and tell them you want more of it. It can be as simple as saying, “I love it when you nibble on my earlobes before we have sex. It feels amazing every time you do it.”
  
  
• Don’t point fingers.
  One of the worse things you can do is tell your partner they’re not satisfying you because they aren’t doing X, Y, or Z. Instead, they’ll be more receptive to your suggestions of foreplay if you tell them your body is craving something different or you want to try something new.
  
  
• Give them hints.
  You can encourage and nudge your partner in the right direction by showing them or hinting to them about what you like most. Consider taking their hand the next time you hug or kiss and gently guiding it along your body in a way that is pleasurable, while letting them know how great it feels. If part of the problem is your partner’s lack of knowledge on the ‘how’, consider watching a video on tantric sex together to help them learn and understand foreplay better.
  
  
• Make it a two-way street.
  Let your partner know you also want to make them feel good and ask them if there’s anything they want you to do more of. Creating an environment where you both feel comfortable sharing your desires with each another is key to great sex.
  
  
• Tell them why it’s important to you.
  Help your other half to understand why foreplay is important to you and why you need it. You can mention that it helps you get wetter or harder before penetration and makes your orgasm stronger. You can also explain to them how foreplay has the benefit of giving you enough time to get aroused as it takes you longer than them to get to that state, and it makes you feel closer to them while enabling both of you to increase your awareness of each other’s pleasure zones.

Some great ideas for foreplay

If you’re looking for some hot ideas you can use in your foreplay, look no further. Check out the list below for some things you can try.

• Dirty talk
• Using sex toys
• Playing sex games
• Nibbling earlobes
• Sucking and biting their neck
• Licking and sucking nipples
• French kissing
• Massage
• Caressing and squeezing breasts
• Stroking their penis or caressing their clitoris
• Licking and kissing their anal area
• Lightly caressing someone all over their body
• Spanking
• Playing with their testicles
• Oral sex
• Having a hot soapy shower or bath together
• Sensory play with ice-cubes, feathers, tongue, etc
• Sexting your partner and telling them what you want to do to them when you see them next

Keep in mind it’s all about practice. The more you do foreplay, the easier it’ll get. It’s also a great way of switching things up and keeping it fresh.

Given all the great benefits foreplay has, why not give it a go the next time you have a chance?

Author: Rylee Winters
Rylee is a Sydney-based romance author who’s secretly addicted to memes and terrible puns. When she’s not coming up with them, she’s reading them. You have been fairly warned.

Photo: Dainis Graveris from Unsplash