So, you’re thinking of having sex for the first time? Understandably, while the prospect might be exciting, it’s normal to feel somewhat timid or nervous about it too. You might be wondering what to expect.
First things first: if the idea of being intimate with someone else makes you feel anxious and awkward, don’t beat yourself up about it! It’s a natural response. Afterall, you’re sharing parts of your body with somebody else that most people are too embarrassed to even talk about.
Secondly, if you’re worried it might hurt, you should know sex doesn’t need to be painful and uncomfortable. With this in mind, here are some top tips to take the pressure off having sex for the first time and make it a fun and pleasurable experience instead.
1. Become familiar with your own body
Everyone is different. What turns one person on and makes them feel pleasure might be different to another person. By masturbating and exploring your own body, it’ll help you discover what arouses you, and how and when you like to be touched to bring you the greatest enjoyment and pleasure.
Also, when you’re trying this don’t be afraid to try sex toys along with different angles and positions to work out what is uncomfortable and what feels good.
2. Communication is key
As the familiar adage goes, communicating with your partner is crucial. It is important to talk to them openly and honestly about your concerns, so that together you can create an environment that makes you feel both physically and emotionally safe and comfortable when you do the deed.
Sex is an intimate act, and the key to great sex is being able to feel comfortable with your partner and tell them what you want and desire from them. Don’t be afraid to guide your partner and let them know what you like and don’t like and how you want to be touched.
Likewise, make sure you listen and don’t make the assumption that you know exactly what your partner wants either. Be okay to ask them questions, such as do they prefer to have the music on or off? Do they enjoy oral sex? What sex positions do they like the best?
3. A little foreplay goes a long way
The more turned on and aroused you are, the better the sex is probably going to feel. Touching and exploring each other’s bodies, oral sex, dirty talk or roleplaying can fire up the pleasure senses and stimulate both you and your partner’s most erogenous zones.
If you’re feeling adventurous you might even consider tying a blindfold on one of you or trying some ice. Chocolate, whipped cream or honey is also another good option. Feel free to be as creative as you like here, or get more ideas here.
4. Don’t forget to lube
Using a lubricant can make penetration easier and sex significantly more pleasurable. It can decrease the chance of your first time being painful by reducing the amount of friction caused by sliding in and out, which will also make the condom less likely to tear.
But make sure you use a water or silicon based lube instead of an oil based one, as oil based lubes can degrade a latex condom!
You can read more about lube and sex here.
5. Have a condom ready and practice safe sex
Be prepared with a condom, since these can help prevent unwanted pregnancy and the transmission of STIs. As they say, safety first.
But don’t just expect your partner to have one ready—take responsibility for providing a condom yourself. This way you won’t need to unnecessarily worry about the possibility of not having protection available when you want to get down and dirty.
Now, if you're looking for an ultra thin condom that feels great but doesn’t compromise on quality and performance, check out the ones we make here at Sokkie. Our packs are designed to be pocketable so you carry them everywhere with you, and are the condoms themselves are all about feel. Lubricated with silicone oil, our condoms are designed for ultimate pleasure and durability.
But don’t take our word for it, try it yourself!
6. Lastly take your time and try to relax!
Sex is messy and often awkward, so don’t expect it to be like the idealized versions presented to us by romance books, movies and television where everything just happens perfectly. If you go in with realistic expectations and an open mind, you’ll find yourself with more freedom to enjoy yourself.
Don’t rush your first time. Make sure you don’t need to run off to do something else straight after, so you don’t find yourself needing to make a made dash out of the bedroom once you’re done. This will only put added pressure and stress on the situation.
Give yourself enough time to enjoy the experience and experiment. Remember everyone is different, so use the time to focus on making the experience a pleasurable one for both you and your partner.
Last but not least, relax and remember to breathe! The less worried and tense you are, the more fun and pleasure you’ll have. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll become and the easier it’ll get!
Author: Rylee Winters
Rylee is a Sydney-based romance author who’s secretly addicted to memes and terrible puns. When she’s not coming up with them, she’s reading them. You have been fairly warned.
Photo: Valerii Apetroaiei from Getty Images